I'm looking for all the baddies all over the world. Ladies, where my baddies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? Real bad on the heard you was next, but I'm up now. Yeah, I'm shining like bling blowout and I see a couple haters in the crowd. Yeah, drip drip drop. I'm juicy. Don't really care what you say. And we all on deuce. It's your birthday, girl. Go crazy. Now make a clap and get low. Yeah. Now back it up a little more. Yeah. Now bring it up slow. You need to say the way you putting on the show. Now grab your bestie by the hand and let her know she bad. Said grab a batty by the hand and let her know she bad. Where my baddies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? Yeah. Yeah. I'm fed up, so shut up. Don't need your opinion. I'm about to count up your pension. Get up. I need your attention. Get up. I need your attention. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Keep calm. Yeah. Never in a rush. See a bad with a big butt. She a stallion. Don't give up. Now make it clap and get low. Yeah. Now back it up a little more. Yeah. Now bring it up slow. You need to stage the way you putting on the show. Now grab your bestie by the hand and let her know she bad. So grab a batty by the hand. Y'all know what to do. Where my baddies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? Yeah. If you bad and you know it, shaking when you show it. If you bad and you know it. Shaking when you show it. If you bad and you know it. Shaking when you show it. If you bad and you know it. You shaking it. Where my badies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? I'm bad. You bad. Where my baddies at? [Applause] Yo yo yo yo yo. Welcome everybody. Yo yo to the special birthday edition of whatever the hell we're calling the show now. Oh, it is Gia's birthday and well um Phil, what's going on? I I heard Coke Dog, you and Coke Dog were supposed to be uh singing a song to Miss Gia tonight. Oh god. Well, um there will be a song, son. Uh the problem is uh Coke Dog seems to have left my backyard because I cannot find him anywhere. Where the hell is he? I don't know. I can't get him I couldn't get him on the phone last night either. We were supposed to go on the air at 2 a.m. last night for uh the last Coke dog show. He was He was supposed to be in the shed. I've looked under the shed. I've looked under the house. I've looked up into the attic. I cannot find him anywhere. I've talked to my neighbors because he was making quite a ruckus and they were a little pissed off. I almost had the cops called on me the other night. Bill, did you use a subpar leash again? Well, I used the same leash I had last time. You do know that he's chewed through half of it. Well, it's got the straight jacket on it. Okay. What I know is he's nowhere to be found. I've looked for him. He's nowhere to be found. That's what I know. Well, uh, okay then. I Thank you, baby Jesus. I may be partially responsible for this. Thank you, baby Jesus. That's my gift. Thank you. He asked me to get him a book to read and the only thing I could find was The HowTos by Harry Houdini. No, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, except he can't read. That's been his problem. He only watches YouTube instead of reading. It's It's in his thing. Uh he learned everything in life off of YouTube. Sort of like uh Jose Chile Castro or So he has a cell phone. He's got a screen. He's got an old uh Kindle uh one of those black and white Kindle things that you can barely get YouTube on. But he doesn't have any pockets. And he only sees in color when he's, you know, on the mall, you know what I mean? Yep. So, Jose a 20year dog scholar now. Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I know he's not very good at suing people. Uh, other than Patrick J. Darcy. Everyone else is ripping apart his latest lawsuit. Patrick Darcy said it was better write written and uh Chile says he met with one of the premier lawyers in all of California and that person said it was 100% okay and will stand the test of time. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. Uh-huh. Yes. Why did he give Did he give the attorney's name? Yeah, he did not. So, everyone is assuming it was Darcy, but Darcy hasn't met with him. No, Darcy's in Irvine. Darcy Darcy didn't say 10 minutes from me. Oh, Darcy said it was better written than his other ones. Not that it was any good or there was any validity to it, just it was better written. I mean, I say the same thing about a lot of bad movies that were just originals, right? I should take I should take Darcy to lunch at uh or dinner at Mastro and Juliet. Oh. Oh, before I talk about chili, Gia, did you get the gift I sent you? Yeah, Zoe's got it. She likes seafood. She likes seafood. But that was a 100% real alligator skin wallet and purse. There you go. She doesn't have a purse. Devastating. Was it real alligator or was it the imitation? Was it the pleather alligator? Oh, no. It was real cuz Dwayne got it from his uh questionable farm that he owned. Dwayne. Hey. Hey. Dwayne does good. Bl. Dwayne. Look. He offered me the choice. Purse and wallet or a belt buckle. And I don't see you rocking a Tweety Bird with red eyes belt buckle. I'm sorry. Nah, I don't either. That one's too long. Uh, as part of tonight, we are Well, wait a minute. Finding a Yes. Well, I I I want to sing just because I'm not having a duet. Well, you you'll sing it. So, who said you weren't going to sing? Okay. Hey, I just don't I don't want to miss it. No, but for we we'll give coke dogs a little bit of time to show up, but we we have to get to marrying off Gia tonight, don't we? Oh, yes. Yes, we do. We promised her a wedding gift. We got a We [Music] gota We have a couple of candidates tonight. I mean, it's Gia's birthday and we need to set her up with the most I the most terrific mystery dates of all, right? We've got a couple of them tonight. Oh. Uh, apparently, uh, Griffy needs to pass on a message to Cicero through Becca. Oh. Uh, what is that message? Wait, hold on. Hold on. I've got I've got the message. It it is an audio form apparently. Oh, moist moist moist. Uh, that's a little too Hey, Facebook Karen. Hey, Karen. That doesn't sound very Australian. You know, I know. May maybe maybe sister would like it if we got her a new moistur uh moist. You're a nice Mercedes-Benz. Uh I was a little tortured. I would have gone with moisturizer. But no, no, no. We can't do moisturizer. We got to do something creative. Like I know her favorite show as a kid was Mickey and Minnie Moist. Okay, let's go to the video. Excellent. How are you? Why Why are you Why'd you bend down like that? Uh, now this is the first contender for the Mister Mr. Mr. uh Gia. Now, he does look like a potential mobster, so that is a plus. He's in the right age range. Is it even legal to marry at 85? Yes, it is. It is cuz remember remember the guy uh oh, what was her name? The uh the Playboy model and Nicole Smith. Yes. Remember he was like 90 something when they got married. Yeah. And they both And they both like soup. Yes, they both like soup. And remember the time she got stuck in the bathtub and couldn't get out when she was looking at homes. So yeah. Uh remember today is the last day of the ban uh though. Okay. But uh today is the last day. We hit five years yesterday. A little over 5 years. A little over five years. It was the day before. We're we're over 5 years, but today is the last day of the actual uh campaign. However, the Coke Dog away from the show, Coke Dog starts tomorrow, and that one is going until the end of the month with the same rules. Five bucks equals a new day. Uh what are we up to? either touche or I'm getting what I'm getting. Jesus. Oh, this guy looks like he wants to take G for a nice canoli. Huh? Maybe a little with the fishes. Apparently, we have two days to add. Is that right? Where' we get two days from? I don't know. Come on, Gia. Let me take you up for uh We're up to Oh, I'm sorry. We are We are just at five years because we are up to uh 8,827. 827. It's Coke who's gone for 952. That is only 143 away. That's where I was getting confused with that all over. And you still there's no Coke dog in the backyard. I haven't seen him. Hold on. Did you see coke dog when you're out front? Coke dog? Yeah. Coke dog. No. No. No. No. No. Sorry. What? Why do I have this feeling she doesn't Coke dog? Mrs. Pope. Mrs. Pope just came in. So I she has not seen him in the front here. Um okay, I can hear her eyes rolling right now. Coke dog. Okay, let let's play this video a little bit now. Now he he's a tall drink of water. He's losing a little bit of his hair, but I mean, let's see how he is. Sunglasses at night, you know, the the nice nice coat. He's got that little mob look to him. The Dallas Police Department received a call for service for Douglas Hensel, 59, who was allegedly flashing a police badge and claiming to be an officer. While talking with officers, he claimed to be a special operations soldier. How's it going, man? Why are you doing that? Want to be Why you Why' you bend down like that? Uh, pickups. Okay. So, what's going on, man? for you. Yep. Yeah, whatever. I parked here like I normally do. Okay. And they said get out and I got out and now they're all getting huffy and [ __ ] Did you flash a badge at them? I have a couple of them saying you did. I have a badge. You have a badge? Can I see it? I have a badge. I have a badge. I knew it. Got tacos ago. I'm looking for somebody. I'm Can I see it? I mean, cuz when you go and Flash a badge and tell them you're a cop and then you can do what you want. Sir, I would never tell I would never tell anybody. I have multiple people telling me you said that though. Well, they can say what they want. It's here. Okay. All right. Do you have an ID on you? I work for a law firm. What law firm? A felony. I have all the credentials in my pocket. There you certainly. I love him already. Give me a second. I only got one arm. All good. So, is that what we're hearing? Is it is it time for something? Sounded like it to me. Yep. She's in love with him already. I love him already. She loves him already. But we've got loves him already. Felonius. Yes. He just committed a felony. I must have him. Okay. Well, uh, we still have 18 minutes on the video. Keep going. We'll save the weather. Keep going. You going to grab your stuff for me or just thinking about it or sorry man I got I got to ask officer Graham. I'm one of you guys. Yeah. Okay. NC checks. Okay. Delta score on what? Discord. What's the first thing you want? Uh let me see your driver's license or ID card if you have one. You have any weapons on you? I'm check real quick. We saying all that then I I'd assume you would. Let's do one thing at a time. Yeah. Okay. It's my ID. That's my law. Control the stop. Nice. That's This is here in Dallas. Very very driver's license, though. I'm going to get to that. Okay. I don't need your cards. I need the driver's license. Hand it back to me. You know what that is? No, I don't. I'm not the bad guy. I come here all the time. Okay. I'm I'm not saying you're a bad guy. I got a prestige. So So So I'm not saying you're a bad guy. There you go. Here you go. Let me see your driver's license. Here you go, sir. Apply. Okay. 100%. There you go. California station. Oh, they they're going to station for it. Okay, cool. So, this is Mr. How do you pronounce your last name? Helmet. Nice to see you. He's who we got called with earlier. Has a badge on him. Three's employees are saying he flashed to him, said he's a cop. He can do what he wants. I got some of this. He's saying he's spec ops. Works for a firm. He put up the million dollar ID. I'm going to pull my car over here. And they are here. Do you have a Texas driver's license or ID? Have you ever had one? I got a line, officer. Do you have a Do you have a bounty hunter license for Texas? Do you have a bounty hunter license on you? You said you're a bounty hunter, right? No, I didn't. You just said you had somebody who skipped bail and they put a million dollar house up in there in trying to find an insurance provider. Insurance business card. Do you have a license to apprehend people? I'm not apprehend anybody, sir. Well, then what then? What are you going to do if you find them? So you have people that So let me So let me let me take let me tell you how this how I'm at that guy. Hey, I'm the way team sir. Okay. I'm going to put my Oh, I will. Don't worry. I'm sorry to pull you away from that. So I have him. I just need to know exactly kind of what he said cuz obviously he's kind of an odd guy. Like talking to him, he's he's he just Yeah, he was just odd at first. He just kind of start trying to impersonate our owner. around this place 101 years. They said he's a cop and he can do what he wants. Okay. Was anybody else there that witnessed this? He said he's like, "Dude, I'm a cop." He said he's a cop. So when he laid the badge down, what did what did he say? He's a cop. He said he's a cop. He You heard it, me heard it, and three more people heard it. Three more. Okay. I'm going to talk to all of them. All those guys on the patio. All the guys on the patio. Okay. And Wayne, you guys passed by. He's like any of these guys. No, they look like children. Sorry. Nope. Uh even even the bouncer. Yep. Nope. Nope. I ain't teaching nobody nothing. Nope. Okay. Nope. But he's like 6'9. He's huge. Yep. Okay. Hang on. Hang on, guys. I'll be back. What was that? NCR, there's somebody at my door. I'll be right back. Uhoh. At his door. Uhoh. What the hell? Okay. He'll be right back with you. Sergeant's out with the guy over there. Okay, I'll get these people open. Yeah, just I got the guy's ID already. So, yeah, for the bathroom. Yeah, I saw it's not Yes. This is Gia's birthday celebration and we are waiting for the guest of honor, Coke Dog, to do a duet with Mr. Pope Phil. How long have you been working How long were you working on it with him? I know you were teaching him the words other so he wouldn't scream and howl anymore. Several weeks. Several weeks. We've been working on this diligently for several weeks. And oh god. And you say he's still not in the backyard? I haven't seen him. And he's been cleaning, hasn't he? I He's supposed to have been He's supposed to have been I've been I've been been cold turkey. We've been giving him, you know, we're on this diet where we're eating very little carbs and a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and salads, that kind of crap. I've been trying to heavy. What What's Well, where what's out there? The dandest thing Hank just dropped dropped by my house. Left something out in the backyard. Yeah, it's this big ass 9 foot tall crate. Hold on. Let me get my crow. Crate. Yes, a crate. God. Why would Hank give you a crate? Is it the squirrel I mean the the raccoon army? I I I don't know. Hold on. Are there breathing holes in the crate? There's a note. Hold on. Wait a minute. This isn't for me. Why would Hank Why would Hank do that? It's not for you. Who's it for? It's not for me, is it? No, it's not for you. It's not for Phil. It's not for Tush. Apparently, it's for Gia. For Gia? Was Hank Hank drunk or something? I don't know. Hold on. Let him know. Well, you know NCR's been hanging out at one of your safe houses. Oh, yeah. That's right. Well, you never said I couldn't. Note, it says, "Le them up. Happy birthday, Gia." Light them up. I don't know. Um, what what exactly is this this this package you have? Do you have anything to open it? I've got my crowbar. Give me a second. Come on. You Come on. Open. You son of a The hell. [Laughter] What? Uh, why does Gia need several Acme style rockets? H several. I thought there was only one. Well, hold on. Something's moving. I didn't know to one of them. There's something moving in it. It's just Hold on. There's There we go. That's why I saw mobile. There's dust on my glasses from all the sawdust. Why is there howling coming out of the damn thing? Howling? Well, and it says light them up. Yeah. Well, well, a birthday girl. I guess Hank got you a special candle. Yeah. to go with Coke Dog and uh Phil singing. So you can blow it out or blow it up at the end, didn't he? Yes. Yes. Yes. Hey, Rose. Hey, Rose. Good to see you. Hey, Rose. I I I don't know what she's going to do with an 8 foot tall rocket. Oh, well, I know. It's so late into the show. Pope, why don't you just sing and and and Gia, maybe you'll you'll uh maybe you'll uh come up with an idea at the end as to what we're going to do with this thing, cuz I guess Hank really wants you to light this thing up. Okay. Why Well, is it moving? Can you hear? Is it a person in there? I don't know. Is it breathing? It's rattling back and forth a lot. There's a howling coming out of it. It's faint to hear, but I can put my ear to I can hear it howling in there and paint. I know Hank I know Hank wanted to beat the Chinese to the moon again, but I mean they already landed, so what the hell? I know he had the surplus army stuff ready to go, but I mean, why would he send it to Gia? Smells kind of funny, too. Okay. Well, Phil, if Coke Dog is out, then he he uh God, this is this is just like him. This is his last chance to be on the air for how many years? Uh almost three. Almost three years. Remember folks, you can keep them away with your $5 donation. just $5 to any of our things and it adds a day and we are running that promot promotion till the end of the month. Uh while the the food promotion ends tonight. Uh that said, Phil, I mean we're we're on a tight schedule here, so you may as well Why don't you sing? Get your song out of the way. Make it good. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. To go. Bill, cross your legs. We don't need to see that. Birthday. [Music] Happy birthday. Yeah. Okay. Uh, happy birthday, Miss Gia. You are such an important part of the show. I mean, since you've joined, we've added 6,000 people to our subscriber list. Uh, the show would not be the same without you. And frankly, I think uh uh NCR, yes. Are you available to to I mean, Gia, we should light this off in your honor. Yeah, we should. We should. Yeah. Light it, baby. We should light this. All right. Light it up. Light it up. Hey, buddy. You should take this outside. Set up in the middle of the field. Light it up, baby. Yes, I'll give you both. Light it up, baby. Yep. Wayne's taking it out back now to set up. Yep. Okay. And I mean, this isn't like Coke Dog to fall off the wagon and get out of the backyard. You said Yes, it is. It's totally like him. It is totally like him. You're It's totally like him. I mean, I was worried because he didn't show up to the to the uh we we were going to have a special 3 a.m. show with me, him, and pants, and he didn't show up, so we had to cancel last night. We were going to let Coke Dog go for three hours by himself if need be. You guys have all missed out on Mr. Coke Dog. No, sure. Yep. Oh, yeah. Big missed out. Big miss out. Yep. And I'm worried about the little guy. I don't know where he could be. Yeah. Yeah. Anyho, uh, how's it coming? Uh, NCR, uh, Dwayne's getting it set up now. He said he'd call me when he's ready to light. It shouldn't be that way that much longer. Okay, let's go back a couple more minutes before we perform Gia's amazing wedding ceremony. He's a regular mix at Brick and Bones. They pulled one of their over there too. I got to know that 18. Yeah. So, I'm getting their information saying that they shoot that badge and said he's cop what was his exact words. That's what they said. Yeah. talking. Oh, hold on. That's Uhhuh. Dwayne, you're set up. Okay. All right. Dwayne's got it ready to launch. Uh, hold on. What What the hell's in this crate? That powdered sugar? I don't know. Is there something? There's baggies of powdered sugar and all over inside the crates. I don't think that's powdered sugar. You don't You don't think I do think Hold on. Hold on. Uh, thank you Mark the sarcastic law student for gifting five memberships. Dwayne Dwayne, do not let do not let you. You lit it already. Wait, what? You don't think Coke Dog is in the rocket? Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Come on. Come on. Stop the rocket, man. Stop. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. I can't be without my poor doggy for the next 5 years. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, dear God. And those memberships went to Crazy Cat, Terry, Mike, No, Leetta, Bailey, and NCTPL. Thank you again, Mark, for the five gifted memberships in honor of uh in honor of the birthday. Uh Gia's birthday. Gia's birthday. Oh no. Oh no. Jim, I think our worst fears may be true. The the heat coming off the rocket is flaking off the paint, revealing what? Let me get my binoculars. Go to the moon and back. What? Yeah. Why would Hank do anything? He loved that dog. He loved that dog with all his heart. Keep telling yourself that. Keep telling yourself that. Uh, well, uh, Jim, there's something coming out of the rock from near the cone. What's that? Give him one bone for the last time and then light that ammer [ __ ] up. Uh, Jim, it's Coke Dog in the Rocket. It can't be Coke Dog in the Rocket. Then then who's with Rose? What the heck? If the real Coke Dogs in the rocket, then who's with Rose? Thank you, Hank. Thank you, Hank. Thank you. Stop the rocket. Did it launch? What's going on? Uh, it's Look at 30 seconds. Look in the sky. There'll be dog fur and dog [ __ ] everywhere. Jim, I I hate to say it, but Coke dog is on the rocket. Yes, he strapped himself in. We can't get near the flames. Yes, I guess. Three. Oh, Lord. What? Yes. Byebye. Why would he love that? I don't know. I'm so confused. Bye-bye. Wow. Rainbow. Rainbow. What do they call it? Rainbow bridge. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. God speed. You crazy crazy man. You the moon. Ground control the major Tom. Hold on. Hold on. Crowd control the major Tom. Dwayne's texting me. Uh, you're breaking up. and I hate to tell you this, but it looks like Coat Dog may actually have planned this out. There is a note. Oh, good lord. A note. It's kind of hard to make out, but it looks like paw print. Paw print. Little baggy. Night son, go trip. Be back soon. Wait, what? Uh, is dog gonna try to snort the moon? I wouldn't put it past him. I would not put it past him. Good. We're in a week with Phil and look what happened to him. It's got to be the DTS. It's got to be the DTS from the withdrawals. That's all I could think. It's got to be the deep. Wait a minute. I had a Are you sure that's not Hank's handwriting? Does Hank write with a glittered pen that's that has a powdery coating on the ink? Yes. There you go. Cuz dog can't read or write. There you go. Well, it's not really what I would call writing. It's more like chicken scratch and drawings like cave paintings. Oh, good lord. What's going on with Gia's birthday? We lose our beloved co. Yeah, well, you're not the only one suffering here. Apparently, somebody sniped my case of bless bitter and there's powder over where it's at. Well, at least got one for the round. Those Chinese are going to be so Chinese astronauts or whatever's up there are going to be the robots are going to be so annoyed cuz I know what he's peeing on first. Provided Hank gave him a helmet. Goodbye coke dog. Goodbye world. Goodbye crew world. Goodbye coke dog. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna call it. It's two and a half years at the moment, but I'm going to call it three years cuz we coke dog. Well, we have to officially get there two and a half cowboy. Two and a half years without coke dog starting tomorrow. And again, the promotion runs through the end of the end of the month, but I'm going to try to get him back from the moon cuz the poor under appreciated little m I can't go on. No, no, no. He just he just wins. He he he's Dr. Loveg good with coke dog this past week. Dr. I mean maybe I mean I sent him out a bunch of DVDs. I didn't want him to be bored because the Rocket's doing a bit of a circle and dog is waving a cowboy hat. Stop [Music] it. Oh, good lord. A coke dog can be back by December 9th, 2027 at this rate. And by you, you can either keep him away or help bring him back. Promotions going toward till the end of the month. But keep him away. That mean he had Hanky. I knew he'd spoil and and Coke Dog found a way to make the birthday song less sexual than last time. That's There wasn't going to be as much nudity. I mean, we had a nice talk about it. That's husband number one or or that's that's the husband. Uh that that that that poor coke dog. Poor poor coke dog. I don't know what to do. Let's just let's go into Dearly Beloved. Let's marry her off before I lose the will to go on. Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today on this most generous of occasions, that being the birthday of our one, our only beloved Gia. In honor of such a wonderful woman, we present to you this wonderful man who only lies very little, very little, and about inconsequential things like being special ops and be able to do that thing down there that you love so much. Gia, do you take this special ops man to be your lovely wedded YouTube husband to honor, love, cherish, and let him do mystery things to you? Oh, absolutely. and tall drink of water who claims to be special ops. You promise to do special op things to our beloved Gia now that she's 85. Oh, happy birthday, baby. I'll give you something to blow out tonight by the power vested in me by all that is holy and a few things that aren't. and our sponsors. WFYC WFYD, the newest one, WFYS. I now pronounce your YouTube husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. Yay. Oh my god. What? Let's add to the chaos. Yes. Yes, it does. Since we just lost NCR. Mark, you got a link. Come on up. Replace NCR. I told you not to let him play with pyrochnics. It was Hank. Hank got rid of my dog. Subar. We won the last five. So, or last hundred or whatever the hell they were. Uh, we'll win again. What? What? What did we not? What did we What? What are we uh Subar thinks we're going to be limited in the morning. Whatever. Whatever. What? Actual person. So, he parked inside and then he claim he owned this place. I'm like, "Bro, I've been here 11 years. I know who own this place." I know. That was first. And then he couldn't make it there and then he pull out a a badge and then you know he say I'm I'm with the law and then they like but you got a tape on it and then if you're not a cop you know it's a felony and then he's like no I'm a this I'm that like then he he told me he was a bounty hunter then he story he's been changing it he's obviously a great person and then he started what's your last in Quebec. California, I'm sorry. R O R O B A B A L I L I O A O like No. In O Oh, yeah. Roino. What's your first name? Dusty. Dusty. Yeah. Dustin. Dusty. Dustin. Dustin. I heard this guy tell another police officer. Go to the body. I hate it when they do, man. He goes He was like, "Nice to see you again, Officer Todd." I was like, "I don't know. I heard. Oh, good morning, Mark. How the hell are you off asleep? Well, tell tell Gia what you've been wanting to tell her for oh so very long and oh so very deep and oh so very dark and oh so very dark. Wish her a happy birthday, honey. Happy birthday, Gia. And um moist. Thank you, [Laughter] Mark. We We've known each other for a while now. Love you, dear. Love you, too. And with Mark here, things are still weird as my poor poor doggo is headed towards the moon. You know, Coke dog snorting the moon is something you do, Mr. Mark. What? Snort the moon? Yes. He He He's instead of jumping over the moon, he's going to snort it. Well, I mean it can be done the push. I know people who have done worse to be honest. So Oh, good lord. Poor coke dog. Poor poor coke dog. He's got a new car now, so it might as well. Well, the good news is this promotion's ending and I don't have to give up any more food. Uh we we we did have the final Taco Bell yesterday. We did not get the final Arby's tonight. Uh let alone anything else, but they'll live on in memory until what's the what's my final year for this? When can we have food? 2030. So I'll be 60. June 9, 2030. So, I'll be Yeah, I'll be essentially 60 years old when I can have food again. When you can have food again. Well, this kind of food. Well, it's a it it's it's dumbfounding to me how you call this food, but that's It is food. It's It's okay. Let's finish off this guy and get out of here. Yeah, that's my motto. That's what she said. Yeah, that's my motto. My poor doggo. Heard him say that when you walked outside. Yeah. So, that's that's who he talked they were talking about the first time. And that's his vehicle over there. So, I just walked by on this side. Okay. You'll stay here with him for a second. I'll see how he's doing. Go ahead. He's got my ID. Yeah, you're in trouble, dude. Well, how are you? There he is. There's the new Mr. Gia. Yep. Yep. I can fix them. Take away his badge. Here. Buy another one. I am going. I'm a great customer. I'm a great customer. And I need my attorney. Hey. Oh, sir. Harris, how you doing? I'm doing all right. How about you? I see you again. I ain't doing it. This looks like my team back in the day. Yeah. Back in the day. Where at? here in Dallas. After 911 was hit, the president called my commander and said, "Let's go." I'm that guy. The movies are about the movies are about this guy. Put Can I put some of this [ __ ] away? Oh, no. This is not all too. Yes, officer. I think you guys never knew you as servants. That's how you know it's [Laughter] Yeah. Jeremy Dit's in jail for a long time for this crap. food smells great. Tastes terrible. Fantastic. Smells great. All that talking. What happened to your heart? Since have that, right? And I switched over to the private sector. has to take $157 something dollars selling. So what what happened to your arm? What happened to your arm? You know, it's tough out there. You know, I got tough out there. I'm special ops. Yeah. Your husband's got a broken arm. Yeah. Jumping out of helicopters and [ __ ] Five tours. Army Delta, brother. Delta [ __ ] Delta, brother. Where's the MOS? Lieutenant Commander, [ __ ] I was the [ __ ] Yeah. What's your clearance, dude? MOS again. Your MOS 35 what? Lima. Lima. What's MOS? Intelligence. Germany, Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Southern America. I'm the [ __ ] deal. They make movies about me. I mean, they make movies about him. What's that? We saw the batch with you. You were showing them. What's his clearance? Is he Agent Orange? He's hoping to make movies with Okay. Well, I don't think her hip replacement surgeries can can stand all that running around. I don't Well, I don't know. I guess we'll find out. let alone the trampoline. Well, I think she's learned to not uh do that again. That was a little bit over the top. Oh, Gia. The life you lead. Yes. The life you lead. I'm a shut in drunkard. Remember? Yep. Who sounds like a boy? Yes, I sound like a boy. I live in a retirement village. And I clean toilets. And you don't have a dog? Nope. I have a fake dog. And I don't have a dog anymore either. He's at the moon. I have an obese fake dog. My poor poor goat dog. This This one right here that you were flashing over there. I want to see what it says. Future recovery. So you a minute ago you told me you were you were here trying to get somebody fusion recovery. Oh now he's not talking. How you doing tonight? I did too many tours. Where' you go again? He's about to do another tour of the jail. Since when? I may have been out of team 595 out of [ __ ] Fort Campbell. You went to Hamburg Hill. I did 40 [ __ ] miles as a [ __ ] second lieutenant. That's it. I'm the [ __ ] Yeah. That's nothing. That's baby numbers. 60 lb ruck. You know that's nothing still. How long it take you? 3 hours. Classify. We don't talk about how [ __ ] alarm the course was. You know that if you know anything about that about that my boot. I could tell you but then I got you. I'm a war hero. Yeah, he was Agent Orange, I tell you. Agent Orange. I'm a war hero. Yep. I'm a war hero. Yep. So, stolen valor and impersonating. Those are those are those are serious charges. I mean, stolen valor is hard to prove because you got to get money for it. I mean, they I'm calling it, Gia. Yep. I'm calling it hope for Gia's own good. An dearly beloved, we're gathered here today on a somber occasion. I thought I was already married to undo this unholy unnatural unnatural wedding to this total fraud fraud. I tell you fraud cannot let our beloved good enough for our Gia. Cannot let our beloved Gia be married off to this no good scoundrel in honor of Mark. I used an English phrase. Yes. Scoundrel. Scoundrel. Bloody scoundrels. What? Do you undo this unholy matrimony that has made you nothing but miserable for the whole 15 minutes has been going on? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Okay. And scoundrelish manliness. Yep. Scoundrelish pad. We don't care what you think. Go away. Hey, man. Was that really a dog in that rocket ship? Damn. Amen. Yes. Moving on. Okay. So, uh yeah, we're going to wrap up soon. We've got six more minutes of this. Then remember folks, we are back tomorrow morning at 8:55 a.m. or sooner uh for Karen Reed Friday show. Remember, there was no Karen Reed coverage today because it was simply too hot in the courtroom. So, they had pre-planned uh before the the the weather changes tomorrow. We are getting the rain right now from it and hopefully it's a little less 90° in the courtroom tomorrow. Otherwise, can you imagine Allessie with flop sweat on top of the voice? Yep. That's just I don't know. Oh. I don't want to go into what I [ __ ] have done for our country in servitude. 15 [ __ ] years. 15 [ __ ] years. I'm the real deal, my friends. Real deal. Thank you for your service. Yeah, sir. You get to meet a real [ __ ] live war hero on the night. 911. My team went in, of course, called my commander and said, "We're going to war, boys. Weapons." Small it is. I listen. What happened? car. You know what's tough out there? [ __ ] accident. You know my car, man. I don't want you to keep rocking that thing. And you, you know, he hurt it some more. Yes, sir. Officer Hayes. Yeah, they're all just disgusted by him. Look at his face. Might be some guy's face on the left. They're just disgusted by him. Yep. No, I got all the moves. All the moves. Yep. I turned out a procedure every night and they love me. Yeah. Long time. They love him. Yeah, they love you. You want to see my some [ __ ] Hey, shut up. Knock it off. What was What was you What was you about to do? The kung fu joint? What was that? Bruce Leroy, my brother. That was your Bruce Leroy. Your Brute Leroy. Uh It's pathetic. Mr. Douglas, you're not going nowhere like you. We see you. We see you. He's being he's trying to be invisible now. What What are you saying, Mark? That's on the screen. What are you saying? And so he objected to the wedding. What was why would she object to the wedding? She said that she was barking mad for going through with it. She was positive that it was a bad idea. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's good for you be having half asleep. That's good. And drunk. And drunk. Don't forget drunk. Just like me. Yeah. Yeah. Just like me. Yes. He He's constantly drunk. That's right. And he dropped out again. So again, sorry, Mark. [Music] Wait, wait, were you trying to go to Harvard again? I heard they canceled your visa. No, it was Yale this time. Yeah. Oh, Yale. Okay. Just like the vice president. Uh, didn't didn't uh Eli Elon come out against you today, too? Uh, no, that was yesterday technically. Okay, that was yesterday. Yeah, just checking. Hey, where you been hanging out at tonight? Capture evade. Where you been hanging out at tonight? Lawyer, I'm happy to answer your question, officer, but I need my attorney present. That's not how that works, dude. Tell me about your military. He's getting uh special ops earbuds getting instructions. No. There's no resist. Can I take the [ __ ] out my ears? What? Can I take the [ __ ] out my ears? I can't hear you. We're going to take it out. I can't hear you. I'm complying. I'm complying again. Yeah. I need my attorney present for all questions. That's nice. Okay. So, I'm going to move you back so you can pick up your stuff. I'm not going to read you your rights, dude. Just go to jail. Okay. That's why I fell off. I just have to make sure you're dropping my [ __ ] That's a air gun, sir. That's an air gun. That's legal in Texas, mother. He went from Agent Orange to people in Texas. Mother said, "No, sir." Yeah. Something seriously wrong with this guy. Equip federal agents with an air gun. Yes. Special ops get an air gun. Yes. Yes. Well, three months. Don't put me in the hole. Don't put me in the hole. I have an accident. Don't put me in the hole. What? I did three months in the hole. Please don't put me in the hole. Another one. Don't put me in the hole. Don't put me in a hole. Okay. Three months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Do you need the cage or roll in? I mean, do you want to shoot me in my transport? If not, mental illness. Uh, the face of mental illness maybe. Yeah. This is bizarre. Yeah. He can get with the cage. I mean, if not if you if you throw him in the back, I think he'll be us. We can all There is nothing. So, so here's the deal, man. So, here's the deal. Right now, we have one charge. Stop talking, dude. Person and police officer. [ __ ] you. No, I don't want that. No thanks. Hey, listen. Like I told you, I don't want You want to get in that back seat? I'm about to put a spit mask on the floor. All right, sir. Let's go. My car. No, not your car. air gun. Those air guns that get you shot by the cops. Who wants the air gun? Air gun. Yes. Legal in Texas. All guns are legal in Texas. I've always sir. Hintel was booked on impersonating a police officer and officials are looking into his military record. you know, thanks everybody. Uh, was it a good birthday? Thank you, Hank. I love you to the moon and back or to Mars and back. Oh, good lord, my poor [Music] doggy. And Zoe loved that little mut, didn't she? They they tried to elope a long time ago. Yeah. Remember, dear God, that note, have a happy, wonderful, and rest of your birthday, Gia. Thank you, dear. And we'll thank you everybody. We'll see everybody tomorrow morning, 8:55 a.m. or sooner. And we're out of here for tonight. Okay, good night everyone. Remember to look up at the sky, see the moon, and think of poor little Coke Dog and the rescue mission we're going to launch. [Music] Heat. [Music] [Applause] Heat. Heat. Heat. [Music] Heat. Heat. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Good night everybody. Enjoy the rest of Gia's birthday. And if you have mail strippers, send them to PO Box